Naked Dating

Naked Dating Question: How Far Would You Follow?

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, Mel and Jer are back at it answering your dirtiest questions on love, lust and social media. The gloves are off as they debate whether or not to follow a hot new fling.

Wanna get naked with them? You don’t have to be an exhibitionist to tell them what you think, submit your dating questions, or tweet them at  @smichm and @jeremywright  with the hashtag #nakeddating.

From Follow-Worthy: So I met this guy off an online dating site. We’ve gone out a few times and it’s been fun. We’re both on twitter but aren’t following each other though we do know each other’s username. At what point would it be right to start following each other? I feel like Twitter can reveal an awful lot of details in a person’s life & that maybe I don’t need to know everything about him right now. Thoughts?

Mel’s Response

I tend to follow interesting people I meet (or already know) right away, and usually with excitement - “omg! you’re also on twitter!!!” then whip out my iPhone, and search them in my tweet agora. Here’s my question: if you’re not willing to follow the guy, why are you going dating him? Sounds like either 1) He’s not interesting  2) You haven’t really bought in to him yet or 3) You’re afraid you’ll look too eager by following first… and what if he doesn’t follow you back?!?

If there isn’t a mutual “I think you are interesting and want to hear more from you” then that’s your cue to exit the stage and move on to brighter lights. This musical is 2 Lady Gaga songs away from being a drag show.

Jer’s Response

Well folks probably know Mel and I disagree on the whole “dating in social media” thing. I think it’s an incredibly easy way to meet people, but I (burned twice, so admittedly there’s baggage here) think that it creates a whole lot of room for drama, miscommunication and general over-sharing. Plus, I’d rather tell the person I’m with about my day than have them read it in tiny snippets. Call me crazy, but talking to the chick I dig is so much sexier than trading tweets.

But really, come on, it’s just a Twitter follow… Don’t overthink it!

You’re getting to know each other, so Twitter is perfect if you can avoid drama/jealousy/etc. If you can’t, then don’t. Either way, you need to be able to communicate with the person you’re interested in. This really should be a straightforward: “I don’t really mind either way, but what do you think about following each other on Twitter?”

Mel’s Response

Honestly, you two just met online. I think Twitter would be the perfect ice-breaker to take you two from awkward-first-dates to feeling-like-friends. While getting to know each other for the first time, Twitter references can make for great conversation starters… Like “Loved that article you tweeted about earlier - in my opinion…”

Also, I wouldn’t be too worried about sharing too much too soon. Personally, the first time I met my (now) bf IRL I felt like I’d known him my whole life because we followed one another. Since he already knew who I was, I was able to take down my defenses and open up much sooner. If you are not at the point where you are regularly chatting on the phone, twitter could be a great solution in the interim.

However — do what makes you comfortable. If following eachother doesn’t, then you’ve answered your own question. At the end of the day, Jeremy’s advice sums it up perfectly: don’t over think it.

Jer’s Response

Twitter is a fantastic way to get to know someone. Flat out. There’s something inherently “awww lemme pinch-your-cheeks” cute about couples who are able to flirt on Twitter without being “OMG get-a-room-before-I-vomit”. Fundamentally if you’re likely to miscommunicate, be jealous or have drama come out of one or both of you following each other on Twitter or Facebook or even Tumblr then it isn’t worth it. If it’s going to help you get to know each other more, communicate more and provide a new level of depth to your relationship then I say give’er!